Marc's humour-archives*: A few jokes

Friday, March 25, 2005

You think that I don't bother .

Stupid or What**************Two rich men were talking over coffee one day and one of them said totheother one. "Hey I tell you my driver is really stupid.If you don'tbelievemei'll show you." He called his driver Sam over and said, "Sam, here is a$10note, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes".To which Sam replied, "Yes Sir! Right away, Sir!" and rushed off to TheShowroom .The rich man then turned to his friend and said, "See, I told you he wasstupid."The other rich man said, "That's nothing, you want to see stupid, I willshowyou stupid." And he called his driver, Jo. "Jo, go home now and check toseeif I'm at home. "To which Jo said, "Yes Sir! Right away, Sir!" and ran home."See what I told you? He doesn't even have enough brains to know that Icannotbe at home if I am here."Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Sam said to Jo, "Eh, you knowmyboss is sooooooo stupid. He gave me $10 and asked me to go to the carshowroomand buy him a Mercedes..... Doesn't he know that today is Sunday lah,theshowroom is closed!"Jo replied, "You think your boss is stupid? My boss lagi worse, he askedmetogo home to check if he is at home... He got handphone what, can justcallupto check lah, bodoh!!!"CAR******Jo and Sam excited and locked the car in a hurry, forgetting toRemove the key which was in the ignition. Realizing the mistake, Joasked,'Why don't we get a coat hanger to open it.''No, that won't work' answered Sam. 'People will think we're trying tobreakin.'Then Jo suggested, 'What if we use a pocket knife to cut around therubber,then stick a finger in and pull up the lock?''No,' said Sam. 'People will think we're too dumb not to use a coathanger.'Then Jo shouted, 'we'd better think of something fast. It'sstarting to rain and the sunroof is open!'PIZZA******Sam ordered a pizza and the waitress asked if he should cut it in six ortwelve pieces. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."DEAD BIRD*********"Oh, look at the dead bird."Sam looked skyward and said "Where, Where got?"Not My Brother !****************A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma.Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is nolongerpregnant.Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl.The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!"Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl'sname?""Denise," the doctor says.The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrongaboutmybrother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor,"What's the boy's name?"The doctor replies, DeNephew.

Are you just not willing,
Or am I just not good enough
6:41 AM

but i do.